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and Shauna was singing away。 And once she broke the ice； she’s been
jabbering away with everyone since。 She knows English。 She has an
age…appropriate vocabulary。 She’s pletely and totally normal！”
His obvious elation made me smile； and all of a sudden I started to
miss him。 Miss him in the way that you do when you’ve seen someone
frequently and regularly but haven’t really connected with him in
any significant way。 It had been great to surprise him the night
before； but； as usual； I’d been too frazzled to be much pany。 We
both inherently understood that we were just waiting out my
sentence； waiting for me to plete my year of servitude； waiting
until everything went back to the way it was。 But I still missed
him。 And I still felt not a little guilty for the whole Christian
situation。
“Hey； congratulations！ Not that you needed a testament to the fact
that you’re a great teacher； but you got one anyway！ You should be
thrilled。”
“Yeah； it’s exciting。” I could hear the bell ring in the background。
“Listen； is that offer still open for a date tonight—just you and
me？” I asked； hoping he hadn’t made plans yet but expecting that he
had。 As I’d pulled myself out of bed this morning and dragged my
exhausted and sore body into the shower； he’d called out that he
wanted to just rent a movie； order some food； and hang out。 I’d
mumbled something unnecessarily sarcastic about it not being worth
his time because I wouldn’t get Home until late and would just fall
asleep； and at least one of us should have a life and enjoy their
Friday night。 I wanted to tell him now that I was angry at Miranda；
atRunway； at myself； but not at him； and that there was nothing I’d
rather do than curl up on the couch and cuddle for fifteen straight
hours。
“Sure。” He sounded surprised； but pleased。 “Why don’t I just wait at
your place and then we can figure out what we want to do？ I’ll just
hang out with Lily until you get Home。”
“Sounds absolutely perfect。 You can hear all about Freudian Boy。”
“Who？”
“Never mind。 Listen； I’ve got to run。 The Queen will wait for Coffee
no longer。 See you tonight—can’t wait。”
Eduardo allowed me upstairs after chanting only two refrains—my
choice—of “We Didn’t Start the Fire；” and Miranda was talking
animatedly when I set down her Coffee spread on the left…hand corner
of her desk。 I spent the rest of the afternoon arguing with every
assistant and editor I could reach at theNew York Post； trying to
insist that I knew their paper better than they did； and could I
please just have one little copy of the Asian fusion restaurant
review they’d run the day before？
“Ma’am； I’ve told you a dozen times and I’ll tell you again：we did
not review any such restaurant 。 I know Ms。 Priestly is a crazy
woman and I don’t doubt that she’s making your life a living hell；
but I just can’t produce an article that doesn’t exist。 Do you
understand？” This had e finally from an associate who； even
though he worked onPage Six； had been assigned the task of finding
my article to shut me up。 He’d been patient and willing； but he’d
reached the end of his charity work。 Emily was on the other line
with one of their freelance food writers； and I’d forced James to
call one of his ex…boyfriends who worked in the advertising
department there to see if there was anything—anything—he could do。
It was already three o’clock the dayafter she’d requested something；
and this was the very first time I hadn’t gotten it immediately。
“Emily！” Miranda called from inside her deceptively bright office。
“Yes； Miranda？” we both answered； jumping up to see which one of us
she would motion to。
“Emily； I can hear that you just spoke to the people at thePost ？”
she said； directing her attention in my direction。 The real Emily
looked relieved and sat down。
“Yes； Miranda； I just hung up with them。 I’ve actually spoken to
three different people there and all of them insist that they
haven’t reviewed a single new Asian fusion restaurant in Manhattan
at any point in the last week。 Maybe it was before then？” I was now
tottering in front of her desk with my head bowed just enough so I
could stare at the black Jimmy Choo slingbacks with four…inch heels
that Jeffy had provided so smugly。
“Manhattan？” She looked confused and pissed off all at once。 “Who
said anything about Manhattan？”
It was my time to be confused。
“Ahn…dre…ah； I’ve told you at least five times now that the review
was written about a new restaurant inWashington 。 Since I’ll be
there next week； I need you to make a reservation。” She cocked her
head and moved her lips into what can only be described as a wicked
smile。 “What exactly about this project do you find so challenging？”
Washington？ Five times she’d told me the restaurant was inWashington
？ I don’t think so。 She was clearly losing her mind or just taking
sadistic pleasure in watching me lose mine。 But being the idiot she
took me for； I again spoke without thinking。
“Oh； Miranda； I’m fairly certain that theNew York Post doesn’t do
reviews of restaurants in Washington。 It appears they only actually
visit and review places new to New York。”
“Is that supposed to be funny； Ahn…dre…ah？ Is that your idea of
having a sense of humor？” Her smile had disappeared and she was
leaning forward in her seat； looking like a hungry vulture that was
impatiently circling its prey。
“Um no； Miranda； I just thought that—”
“Ahn…dre…ah； as I’ve made clear adozen times already； the review I’m
looking for is in theWashington Post 。 You’ve heard of that little
newspaper； right？ Just like New York has theNew York Times；
Washington； D。C。； has its own paper； too。 See how that works？” Her
voice was now beyond mocking： she was so incredibly patronizing that
she was only one step away from actually addressing me in baby talk。
“I’ll get it for you right away；” I stated as calmly as I could and
quietly walked out。
“Oh； and Ahn…dre…ah？” My heart lurched and my stomach wondered if it
could take another “surprise。” “I expect you to attend the party
tonight to greet the guests。 That’s all。”
I looked to Emily； who looked absolutely baffled； her crinkled
forehead making her appear as dumbfounded as I felt。 “Did I hear her
correctly？” I whispered to Emily； who could do nothing but nod and
motion for me to e to her side of the suite。
“I was afraid of this；” she whispered gravely； like a surgeon
telling a patient’s family member that they’d found something
horrible upon opening the chest cavity。
“She can’t be serious。 It’s four o’clock on Friday。 The party starts
at seven。 It’s black tie； for chrissake—there is no way on earth she
expects me to go。” I looked again at my watch in disbelief and tried
to remember her exact words。
“Oh； she’s quite serious；” she said； picking up the phone。 “I’ll
help you； OK？ You go find the review in theWashington Post and get
her a copy before she leaves—Uri is ing for her soon to take her
Home for her hair and makeup。 I’ll get you a dress and everything
else you need for tonight。 Don’t worry。 We’ll figure it out。” She
began rapid…fire dialing and whispering urgent…sounding instructions
into the phone。 I stood and stared； but she waved her hand without
looking up and I snapped back to reality。
“Go；” she whispered； looking at me with a rare hint of sympathy。 And
I went。
14
“You can’t show up in a cab；” Lily said to me as I jabbed helplessly
at my eyes with my brand…new Maybelline Great Lash mascara。 “This is
black…tie。 Call a car； for chrissake。” She watched for a minute more
and then grabbed the clumpy wand from my hand and tapped my eyelids
closed。
“I guess you’re right；” I sighed； still refusing to accept that my
Friday night was to be spent in a formal gown at the Met； greeting
wealthy…but…still…rednecks from Georgia and North and South Carolina
and plastering fake smile after fake smile on my poorly made…up
face。 The announcement had left me all of three hours to find a
dress； buy makeup； get ready； and revamp all my weekend plans； and
in the craziness of the situation； I’d forgotten to arrange
transportation。
Luckily； working at one of the biggest fashion magazines in the
country （the job a million girls would die for！） has its advantages；
and by 4：40P 。M。 I was the proud borrower of a knockout floor…length
black Oscar de la Renta number； provided kindly by Jeffy； Closet
maven and lover of all things feminine （“Girl； you go black…tie； you
go Oscar； and that’s that。 Now don’t be shy； take those pants off
and try this on for Jeffy。” I began to unbutton and he shuddered。 I
asked him if he really found my half…naked body that repulsive； and
he said of course not； it was merely my panty lines that he found so
disgusting）。 The fashion assistants had already called in a pair of
silver Manolos in my size； and someone in accessories had selected a
flashy silver Judith Leiber evening bag with a long； clanking chain。
I’d expressed interest in an understated Calvin Klein clutch； but
she snorted at the suggestion and handed me the Judith。 Stef was
debating whether I should wear a choker or a pendant； and Allison；
the newly promoted beauty editor； was on the phone with her
manicurist； who made office calls。
“She’ll meet you in the conference room at four forty…five；” Allison
said when I picked up my extension。 “You’re wearing black； right？
Insist on Chanel Ruby Red。 Just tell her to bill us。”
The entire office had worked itself up to a nearly hysterical frenzy
trying to make me look appropriate for the night’s gala affair。 It
certainly wasn’t because they all adored me so much and killed
themselves trying to help me out； rather； they knew Miranda had
mandated the makeover and were eager to prove to her the high level
of their taste and class。
Lily finished her charity makeup lesson and I briefly wondered if I
looked ridiculous wearing a floor…length Oscar de la Renta gown and
Bonne Belle Lipsmackers in Fudgsicle。 Probably； but I had turned
down all offers of having a makeup artist e to the apartment。
Everyone on staff tried to insist—and none too subtly—but I
adamantly refused。 Even I had limits。
I hobbled into the bedroom on my four…inch Manolo stilettos and
kissed Alex on the forehead。 He barely looked up from the magazine
he was reading。
“I’ll definitely be home by eleven； so we can go get some dinner or
drinks then； OK？ I’m sorry I have to do this； I really am。 If you do
decide to go out with the guys； call so I can e meet you； OK？” He
had； as promised； e directly from school to spend the night
together； and hadn’t been all that thrilled when I’d arrived home
with the news that he could definitely have a relaxing night at Home
but that I wouldn’t be a part of the plans。 He was sitting on the
balcony off my bedroom； reading an old copy ofVanity Fair we had
lying around and drinking one of the beers Lily kept in the fridge
for guests。 It wasn’t until after I’d explained that I had to work
tonight that I even noticed he and Lily weren’t hanging out。
“Where is she？” I asked。 “She has no classes； and I know she’s not
working Fridays all summer。”
Alex took a swig of his Pale Ale and shrugged。 “I’m guessing she’s
here。 Her door’s closed； but I saw some guy walking around before。”
“Some guy？ Could you be a little more descriptive？ What guy？” I
wondered if someone had broken in； or perhaps Freudian Boy had
finally been invited over。
“I don’t know； but he’s scary…looking。 Tattoos； piercings；
wife…beater—the whole nine。 Can’t imagine where she met this one。”
He took another nonchalant swig。
Icouldn’t imagine where she’d found him； either； considering I’d
left her at eleven the night before in the pany of a very polite
guy named William who； as far as I could see； was not a
wife…beater…wearing； tattoo…donning kind of guy。
“Alex； seriously！ You’re telling me there’s some thug cruising
around my apartment—a thug who may or may not have been invited
over—and you don’t care？ This is ridiculous！ We need to do
something；” I said； getting up from the chair and wondering； as
always； if the weight shift was going to cause the balc